Mia Nonna

Mia Nonna, mia luce, the light of my life. She lit up wherever she was, laughing merrily, spreading joy. She understood me, she understood everyone. But we never understood her. We never saw past the lovely smile, the diamond tiara, the contagious laughter. We never saw the silent tears, the awful bruises, the torments she lived through, her fear for her children as he molested them in his drunken, stoned state. And his family, who protected him and not her. And all the while, there was she who never tarnished their reputation and bottled it all up inside, her light fading into a misty blue. She still laughed, she still smiled and never said anything when they chastised her that her face was getting paler and she was getting thinner. She held everyone up in her palm, nurturing, understanding their pains, never saying a word when he stole to feed his addictions. She slowly suffered inside. Until one day, she flew. Past him, past his family who protected him, past the police that he had close ties to, the politicians he was friends with. She flew and it all happened so fast, it made me believe in God or at least a guardian angel. She was deeply traumatized, unable to look out at the darkness for fear of seeing his shadow lurking there. He called late at night to threaten her, his friends showed up at her door. What could the police do if he showed up at her place one day with a knife? Nothing. Slowly, she settled into her new life. She started working. And then one day, she met her prince charming and we still didn't understand her. We held her back for we felt it was too soon. But this was it, he was all she deserved... he was her happiness. I visited them for the first time after her wedding 2 years ago. She had regained the rosiness of her cheeks, her melodious laughter. She hugged me and I asked her if she was happy. She told me more than anything in the world. And then she begged me to tell her mother that she was happy too, that I'd seen it. She was still the same, still concerned about others. I love you, I truly do. I know I don't say it often enough but you inspire me to live my life to the fullest.

But I'm also sad... because though you've found happiness in the five short years since you flew, there are others still who are tormented, blackmailed into getting money for them or being discarded, kicked out of the house into a ruthless society. It exasperates me that they're allowed to live in these conditions. It shames me to be born in a society that sides with the oppressor and oppresses the oppressed even more. But I still live in a society where such things happen. So maybe it's just men... certain men.