Bulbula

I'm not quite sure what to say. I can't seem to quite collect my thoughts but I can't stay quiet either. I was shushed as I gushed out my incoherent, uncollected thoughts. The views I've heard so far are mixed and I guess I too didn't feel like I'd witnessed perfection. It's like loving someone who has glaring holes but you still love them despite their imperfections, for their imperfections. And I was definitely strongly affected. I can't get it out of my mind, I can not. I guess what she said to him was right. Why did it have this effect on me? Well, it's simple. I've idealized love into being this thing it's not. It was flawless love with flawed circumstances but sadly, that's the only time such love exists. At the end of the day, it isn't really reality, is it? It's a fantasy I loved, an impractical, beautiful fantasy. And as it ends, it again idealizes in the most illogical of ways. I sit and watch as he destroys his love which, to me is awfully selfish (quoted feels completely false after all that we’ve learned). How did it get to this point? His smile is etched into my memory like a scar that hurts from which I hope I recover soon. But for the next few days, the obsession will continue. Might as well live the fantasy for now...



Long afloat on shapeless oceans
I did all my best to smile
'Til your singing eyes and fingers
drew me loving to your isle.

And you sang, "sail to me,
Sail to me, let me enfold you.
Here I am, here I am
Waiting to hold you."