In the New Year...

In the new year, I give up. Just looking at this lovely photo of dusk from little over a year ago fills me up with memories, a face marked with hope. I remember this time last year, I had a cat licking my scalp as I lay next to the corpse watching the stoned couple make out to Mentirosa. This new year's was different. I had a lot more time by myself. I shut myself up in the solitary apartment away from all the excess and reflected on things. I dreamed of running away to the desert, an endless sea of pure sand in every direction. Beauty in simplicity, dehydrated under the cruel Saharan sun, sand being blown into my mouth and eyes. Yes, I'd take that over the crowds. But I can't take time off or I would grab my passport and make a mad dash for the airport. But in the new year, I must wait. Patience is key. In the new year, I shall forge allegiances, with the city, with the people, blend in though they tell me it takes 10 years to fully assimilate. But I've never cared much for titles, nor for people who like creating exclusive clubs. I speak with conviction yet I know not what to expect of the new year. I'm confused by the cruelty of kind people who point out what they know plagues you and discard you when one they deem has more merit is near. Yet they are the ones who shower you with gifts and take you places and remember you when you most need it.

Hmmm... I need to hear something positive so today's goal is to go see a fortune teller to see what the new year holds for me.