Insomnia

I cannot sleep. My brain refuses to shut down although my body is aching for some rest. My mind is a whirlwind of activity. I find that all the things that have been plaguing me for the longest time converged onto a single point of focus today and I received some form of clarity. And I hope I stay devoted to this point. I have grand plans and I know I have the capability of doing it. All I need to do is wake myself up from the slumber I've been in for the past 3 years. I've started talking to people, getting tips, and setting goals, aggressive goals. I'm scared. I think my brain's afraid that if it shuts down, I'll forget the sense of urgency that I'm feeling at the moment. I've tried to lie down and close my eyes without success. And here I am, writing, as a sliver of the first light of dawn intrudes on me through the window and my aching body groans for some much-needed rest that I know I will not get now. If only I could store this excess energy and use it in small doses as needed. But alas, I suspect that when tomorrow comes, I will retract to my old self, to the sweet slumber I have grown accustomed to in the past few years of inaction.