L'amour est un oiseau rebelle

I'll never smile again until I smile at you
I'll never laugh again, what good would it do?
For tears would my eyes, my heart would re-al-ize
That our romance is through.

I'll never love again, I'm so in love with you
I'll never thrill again to somebody new
Within my heart, I know I will never start
to smile again, until I smile at you.

It was beautiful, the way it all fit in. In his words, it was a merging of two souls and of two cultures so the appearance is homogenous. And I felt so at home. A sunbeam shone from the roof and formed a heart shape at the entrance to the hall. In this house, love resides. And as they tangoed, I knew that's how the rest of their life would be, built on the foundation of love. And that in time, the Rockies may tumble, Gibraltar may crumble, but their love is here to stay.

It turns out...

you were making a fooool of meeeeeeeee ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Strangely comforting, perhaps a little too much

You were the last thought on my mind before I slept and the first after I awoke. Intimate stranger, made me kinda sad. I've been a little conflicted, been gauging my actions, analyzing what went wrong and what went right. When I woke up this morning, the coffee wasn't on and it slowly dawned on me that my baby's gone. There was an overture and a retraction, moments of mild awkwardness but mostly comfort. Guess I shouldn't be so shocked, guess I shouldn't be so surprised, guess I sorta noticed sadness in your eyes. But perhaps it was too comforting too fast and that could be the downfall of this. The two of us together couldn't make this house a home. I'm confused now and I'm not really sure what I want but this confusion could be attributed to either uncertainty because I don't want to pursue this or uncertainty because I've never pursued anything of the sort before. Maybe I'm a little bit relieved, maybe I'm a little bit glad. My conversations with our mutual friend have led me to suspect that perhaps on your end, it's a clear no. Neighbours can talk themselves into a storm, I'll survive.

But what didn't happen could. I leave the future open-ended. I retain feelings for you and something may come to pass... or perhaps we've reached a dead end.

Ain't it funny, one of life's big jokes
Thought you'd gone for good but you'd only gone for smokes.

A Blur

A typical bottom, an embarrassing top, a much-needed belt, a pink heart-studded muffin, a saltshaker, you who did not call me, you who reeked of pot, i who reeked, you who is sweet to her but to me allot 20 min, three divas and everyone who wants to go to the Madonna concert. I think I feel typical, I've run into them, I've run into the one I feel I should condemn. It was strange, the energy, its focus kept shifting, from up to down to out to up. The dyke with low-hanging boobs yelled forcefully into his ear until I rescued him and we fled, leaving her with her next victim. Back upstairs, I was the gem of her eyes and I pulled her by the hand and led her down down down. Not so smooth there tonight. I tried to move but it was a little forced, and he'd already left because I irritated him. Then the last man left me standing and I skipped down the street and disappeared into the night.

Recent Events

Bacio bacio, not one but two. I'm afraid of what is to come. Silently, I waited on your doorstep standing on one foot, then the other. Later on, I erupted in my shower into classical tunes I've never heard only to scare the neighbour into knocking my door. I hid in a corner until it passed, then I tried to sneak out only to be caught.

And then there was the night you tried to introduce me to one of your friends who claimed to know me already and she sold me a $14 margarita that tasted like water. Next item on my shopping list: a blender!

Bacio

I bought a big box of Baci at a recent trip to Highland Farms and now I can't stop opening them, not because I'm addicted to chocolate but because I'm addicted to the cheesy messages inside. They give me a sense of satisfaction. For example, I treated myself to a Bacio today and I got the following message:

Amo non solo essere amato, ma anche sentirmelo dire.

Eu não gosto só de ser amado mas também de ouvir-lo dize.

No sólo me gusta que me amen, sino que me digan que me aman.

J'aime non seulement qu'on m'aime, mais qu'on me le dise.

I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved.

Photo indiscrète, why hast thou betrayed me!

Cameras are vile, repulsive things that just won't let you forget about all the silly things you've done under the influence... I think that whoever invented the blasted contraption should be shot!

Rebirth

I strolled up Yonge street today in my 'hood. It's a beautiful 16 C with clear skies and a brilliant sun. Everyone's out and about. Rob was strolling outside with his girlfriend, I was walking arm-in-arm with mine. The area's got enough of a community feel that we ran into a few people we knew but it's large enough that when we saw Rob and his girlfriend in the Starbucks we were about to enter, we both ran out giggling and went over to another Starbucks.

I love this time of the year. I've heard a lot of people complain about it because they find the weather is unpredictable. It's like showing them the good stuff and immediately taking it away. But I look at it as little bursts of hope. It's like little reminders that summer's on the way... a new beginning, lush grass and blossoming flowers. I love to see nature's rebirth unfold. And I walk, hand in hand with my inspiration, looking fondly at the sunglass-clad middle-aged ladies going about their business, young couples in love and the single folk with a glimmer of hope in their eyes.

Dehelvi

Mann tu shudam, tu mann shudi
Mann tann shudam, tu jaa'n shudi
Taakas nagoyad ba'ad azee'n
Mann deegaram, tu deegari

I have become you and you have become me
I have become the body and you have become the soul
So that noone may from henceforth say
That I am separate, and you are separate.