Scratch me if you love me

I have a huge scratch on my nose from the weekend. My nephew saw me after a week and he went into complete shock for half an hour and stared at me without blinking. Then he gently lifted his hand to my face and felt my cheek and then my nose. And then he got all excited and scratched me all over.

I guess I have a real maternal side to me because as he fell asleep in my arms and his body felt limp, I felt a satisfaction and a sense of belonging unlike anything I've felt before. I'm not ready for this yet but someday, I will adopt. And before any of you shoot me down for trying to be like Angelina Jolie, let me say that I've wanted to adopt since BEFORE she adopted!

A Ray of Hope

She's right, I think. In her own words, she whispered into my ear one thing. That love cannot be forced, love can only be found, so love yourself first, then in others it shall abound. Do the things you love, pursue your interest, don't worry about finding love my dear, destiny will do the rest. This is what she told me, she whispered it in my ear, this is how she gave me hope, dispelled my silly fear.

I went home for lunch and...

I took the bottles of booze out of my fridge and dumped them down the drain. Then I scrubbed the entire apartment clean. I took my gym clothes out of the closet and arranged them on my bed as a reminder for this evening. It's time to get my life back on track.

Desire

I became aware of my desires last night. As I held you close, I could feel something awaken in me, a longing, a yearning that I rarely acknowledge, perhaps only under extreme intoxication. But it's a need that I have, that I've suppressed, that I question constantly, that has led me to this act of desperation, in holding you. They say that when it happens, you know. Well, I don't, everything is a little hazy and it's distorted the image of you that I should have in my mind.