La vieillesse

They all swooped down onto our house but no candles were lit this year. Food and drinks were thrown about and the bellies, they jiggled with joy. I greedily bought a big tub of Häagen-Dazs and came home to find out that I wanted none of it. Thin wrists, thighs thinner, I run out of breath in a few seconds if I walk fast. It feels like old age has finally hit me. But clumsiness clings on - the gingerale I dropped all over myself is a testament to that. What does the future hold? I've been told that it's time I settle down, get married. I've held off the pressure but for how long? After all, it is inevitable...